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He never thought he deserved me, but I also thought that way about him. I suppose he thought I was as special as I did he. I miss him so greatly that ...t hurts. I hope each reader has a love that is so great and so deep that words cannot describe your feelings. If I seem lost for descriptive words at times, that is why. Please understand) Bill was embarrassed when his emotions got the best of him and his eyes would well up. He didn't like me to see him that way, like it would make me think he. Their interest in men comes from seeking validation that they have achieved their sissy goal: being feminine enough to interest “straight” men. They aren’t into the men themselves as much as the men are sex objects that a sissy uses to confirm her own sissyness.Sissies are submissive. You can be a crossdresser who makes an effort to look the part and not be submissive, but that means you are not a sissy. A sissy gets off on pleasing others. She doesn’t worry about herself or her pleasure nearly. The more I tried not to think about the half-second glimpse of Josh’s penis, the more my thoughts spiraled out of control. I wiped myself - and noticed that I was not only very sensitive but also unusually wet. I walked from the bathroom ito my bedroom with my mind still racing. How big does that thing get? What would a penis like that feel like in my hands? In my vagina? Would it hurt? Would it feel like that one guy in college? Oh, god, why did I think of that? The thoughts continued and I. That's a pipe dream. Mom obviously can never, ever know that though. She can never know about any of his other lovers; she'd turn on him in a flash!But I DO have a game plan. Mom's wrong if she thinks he's going to be the one and only lover in my life. I'm still in high school, for crying out loud. People are marrying later and later these days. I might not marry until I'm thirty or even older. I'm sure I'll have lots of boyfriends. Alan is ... a learning experience. He and I can have fun, lots.
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